What If It’s Just Not Your Time… Yet?

The dream I almost gave up on and why I finally decided to publish my children's book

A few years ago, right before my life officially blew up, I wrote a story about a little girl who used a three letter word to work through the things she was having a hard time with. The story was rhythmical, sweet, and taught an important lesson. I was beyond excited about it! I showed it to a few friends while sitting on the beach and thought - wow, maybe this will be it. Maybe this story will help me achieve my dream of becoming a published author.

What I did next is embarrassing.
I did nothing.
The draft collected dust, life got in the way, and I shrank back into the core belief that I’m just not good enough.

Fast forward to the year before turning 40. Life had taken many twists and turns since writing the draft, but there I was, 39 years old, divorced, a single mom, a solo homeowner, a teacher, and still quietly trying to prove my selfworth. There was so much I desired to do that I hadn’t accomplished.

I stumbled upon the draft on a random day and reread the words I wrote almost half a decade ago. Staring up from the page was that little girl with the three letter word - yet.

Something in me ignited.
Life is too short to be living so small, to be feeling so small.

Yes, there was so much I desired to do that I hadn’t accomplished - yet.

So Little Bernadette and I became reunited. I edited, revised, and eventually she and I came to an understanding - I may not be an author yet, but I will.

I kept moving. I learned about self-publishing. I hired an illustrator who patiently held my hand as I pushed through the internal fears and self-doubt that came up while bringing this book to the publishing phase. I found my voice in uncomfortable moments that I previously would have shied away from. I opened myself to releasing the fear of what others may think. What you may think.

I thought of my daughter and what this could teach her. That we don’t give up on our dreams and goals. That we keep going, even when it feels hard. That some of the most important things take more time than we may hope.

This book, although intended for children, is for us grown-ups as well. A reminder to those of us who have things in our hearts we haven’t accomplished yet - but that we will.

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